Wednesday, December 5, 2018

The Lost Innocence

There was a time, when we believed in so many wonderful things that we were all happy pills - with our innocence and ignorances about everything and anything. Perhaps, many still loiter and linger upon the corridors of high schools, for those were the days, not many worried about what they wanted to be next. For me, those were the days when I longed for lunch breaks. 

During lunch breaks, when those corridors of our school remained empty, I would go underneath those staircases and read. I would befriend Edmund Dantes and pursue over his vengeance. I would feel sorry for Sidney Carton and promised him that I would never forget him: even if the world would. Still today, I remember engulfing upon Dickens' motif of Sidney Carton closing the book with : It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known. In those corridors and under various corners whereby I embraced loneliness and detoured Ruskin Bond with his cheap lifestyles, and multiple tales about train stations, I found my contentment and solace.

Fast forward a decade and I am in a position to state that I have met a lot of folks. I am sure, we all can state that everybody comes with different faces and phases. And I wonder, can anybody be too nice or too mean? Somewhere along my quest to understand people and to decode their arcane nature, I have realized that nobody is mean or nice. It's just phases and faces. A person who is nice to you, could be rude to others - priorities being set and a person's situation being good or bad. 

Remember those days, when we were infants and every story that we believed in? Those stories with anthropomorphisms, myths and mythologies - seemed all real. Yes, we did think that if we lied our noses would grow longer and that there was some guy with no job but to take us away had we not slept early. How disappointed was I, when Santa didn't show up, and how much cynical was it to realize during my puberty days that he was only meant for Christian kids and how funny it was finally: just to realize that he never existed. 

We were all innocent at our infant days, then we learned about the world, and while we continued learning more, we just wanted to find hope in hopelessness. That we found our journeys never ending to find contentment - I realized that life's purpose wasn't to be happy all the time - it just was not to be sad each day. 

We were too gullible, and we thought we could someday count all the stars in the sky. Why didn't the tooth fairy take my tooth? And when did we forget about the song "chili eating, chili eating, chili eating, just now"? Perhaps, somewhere, sometime, the dams of protections that we were given by our parents and adult relatives, that we knew could never resist the truths of life, that today, we have to be cent percent sure whether a person is lying or not? How we believed that the toffee shops were closed. 

And in all these murky thoughts of mine, I just wonder - where did we all lose our innocence and became adults? Embarking with shields of self defense mechanisms, and swords of  whimsical fallacious self-confidence, that we marched upon the parodies of days of our lives. Faltering with our worse days and moving forward - perhaps, hope is not gone, and it is divine melody to find hope in hopelessness - no matter how despondent one feels. One at least has to cling upon hope, that someday, somewhere around the corners of despairs and grief, sun shall shine. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. who writes all these mature articles with no innocence . I need to find the writer and have a chat

    1. The writer is in need to more hugs. He just is going astray missing his dear wife.

  3. I wish him well and pray that he gets to meet her soon

  4. *of, that was of, and not to.
    All your prayers taken in goodwill.

  5. Grammar Nazi is guilty of his error 😛