Saturday, April 8, 2017

To those who are depressed.

The highest number of depression cases is in the age group of 15 to 49 years in the country. The average death due to suicide stands at around seven per month, which comes to 84 suicide cases in 2016 alone.

According to WHO estimates, Bhutan should have about 20,000 people living with depression in the past year while only about 1,000 people sought treatment in hospitals. Which means only 5 percent of the people suffering from depression received treatment.

Source: Focus is on the rising menace of depression: Kuensel Editorial 8th April 2017.

Like mentioned in my other articles before, Osho said: There are two types of people, sensible and sensitive. But there's third one, combination of both, who are sensible and sensitive. 

"Maybe during those days, I might have been depressed. But I didn't go to hospital and I wasn't claimed depressed", said my friend while we discussed his sadder days. This however happens to be the story of many, while many must have suffered heart breaks, losing of jobs, losing of loved ones, being alone, while one was alcoholic, etc., Things such as: Nobody would love me or loves me, nobody cares, why I am the way I am, why am I alone, why did they say such things about me, why do I have to listen to Himesh Reshmiya, etc., etc., might have consumed one, which would proliferate much grief and disappointment in oneself. 

In every corner, there lies one heart broken Romeo or Juliet, and it is bound to happen, once in a while, everybody's heart gets broken. And it is okay to be sad, what's the charm of living if you only know happiness?

When I was depressed, I was put on sleeping pills by the doctors. I am not ashamed that I went through depression. In fact, I feel that it was a blessing in disguise, because I survived. I survived because I changed my perspectives, I changed my way of life, I changed many things around me, rather than wishing I desired and did things, and maybe I too was tired of everything being too stagnant and mostly being sad. When I came out of it, the greatest thing I learnt was that, it really doesn't matter what others hold as their perspectives about you, yes, because it eventually is theirs and not yours.

Our society treats sad people worse than someone who's got some contagious disease. Some people even claim that negativeness and sadness is contagious. Well, I am sorry, not many can be sensible and sensitive. Not many can actually see the flaws and how much one is being conned and connived, and in fact, get affected. You need to have a brain and heart buddy, and I am sorry, not all of you are gifted. Isn't it easy to exploit anybody? Try something harder, try being honest and nice.

To all my friends who are depressed today, it is okay to feel sad. Many great souls had to undergo depression to become what defined them. Abraham Lincoln is one example. Perhaps, like mentioned before, maybe Buddha himself was a depressed soul that he chose to leave what everybody wished for. Milarepa, he too was depressed, if you read the Songs of Milarepa, you would know that time and again, he had wished to end his life. But why end your life, when you are having sadder days or bad days? Do you not grab a blanket while you are cold at night? You would do thousand things to keep yourself warmer and not give up, right?

If you are depressed, then it just means you are special. You don't have to prove anything to anybody, because you got depressed for you loved wholeheartedly, for you cared fully, for you dreamed wildly, for you lived crazily, for you had knack to achieve success that went wrong, for you were different from others that you felt more. Yes, you felt more and you feel more, trust me it is a gift, you just have to channelize it properly. Not many can feel the way you can.

I understand, that you are not in a place to accept what I have written here, give yourself time, don't give up and later all these things would actually make sense. It is a selfish act to end your life, and if you really were a selfish soul, you won't have been depressed. You can't be something who you are not, so why give up now and prove yourself wrong? You are a great soul, henceforth you cared, you loved and you got disappointed, but that's okay. Everybody goes through it, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't mean you are weak, it just means that you are having a bad phase of your life, and that doesn't define who you can be in future.

You might be told not to think much, not to worry much or not to feel sad. How on earth is that possible? Not many would understand it, and not many would try to understand you, but that's the fact that we have to accept in life. Everybody is out there trying and hoping that someone would come and understand them, but nobody can, even we can't figure out ourselves at times, and that is normal. Everybody is trying to figure themselves out, how can they understand you when they haven't understood themselves? The whole human race is trying to figure themselves out. Where we came from? Where are we going? Is the Climate Change really happening? Are we alone in the Universe? Why do people Fight? Whys and hows, and isn't that the beauty of life? Isn't ability to think deeply and differently a gift? 

I know money might be running short and you are sad, stressed and worried because of that. Maybe your lover cheated on you and you can't accept the fact, maybe you weren't prepared for this - but now that it has happened, what else can you do? You might be fighting addiction and that's not going anywhere, this might have led you to feel disappointed, but this isn't the end. There's more to life. You have to watch many series of upcoming Minion movies, have to learn so many cuisines to prepare, have to read so many books and get lost in it, you have to learn new skills, you have to travel so many places, you have to meet so many people and at times they are weird but that's the beauty of people, you have to make so many new friends and foes, you have to listen and see Justin Bieber hit the charts time and again, you still have so many songs from Himesh Reshmiya to listen to, you have so many erotic stories to read, movies to watch, you have to taste so many food, you have to step on so many cow dung on streets, you have to buy so many clothes, you have to finish off so many assignments and at times just miss the deadlines, you have so many scolding and yelling to be heard from your superiors, at the same time so many juniors' ears await your verbose talks, so many men and women you have to flirt around with, so many vehicles you have to drive, you have to see so many seasons, you have to unveil so many secrets, you have to make so many people smile, you have to make something out of your life: why choose to end it? And eventually we all die, that doesn't mean that we choose it early without even trying to make something out of it? You still have so many things pending, to fall in love once again, to start your own family, to swap jobs, to quarrel and fight for what is right for you, to let go of people who treated you bad, to follow your passion, to watch some clumsy BBS shows, to listen to annoying people, to meet few celebrities, to live healthy, and thousand other things you still have to do. Why give up now? Why go without achieving anything? 

It won't be easy, and there will be many huddles in your way. But you can still try, and try. Perseverance and hard work will always pay off, it is just matter of time. For some it might be few years and for some it might take time, but eventually everybody finds their own peace of mind. You won't be rich over night, someone won't love you dearly the moment they see you, you won't be happy just because you wish to be, you won't be popular for what you do and who you are without toiling, you won't be remembered if you aren't involved in anything, you can't have an impact unless you try - so why give up without trying? Why give up presuming the outcomes of failures while you haven't moved an inch from where you are? Why be that Winston Churchill's ship which is safe at the shore? Why be succumbed and comfortable where you are? Why not change the voice that's within you, why don't you make it louder and tell yourself, shut all those other voices which tell you it is impossible? It might be tough, but it will never be impossible. Contemplate over the voice, make it the loudest, tell yourself that you are especial, you are the only one and you can do anything! and Yes! You can. 

Forget about the world, keep that for later. Right now, you are injured inside, it's okay to fix yourself first. It is okay. Nobody became millionaires over night, nobody achieved the glories of heaven by just one good deed, no inventions and discoveries were done in a day - then how could you possibly think that your life would be fabulous, glorious, glamorous, awesome and comfortable in a day? You have to toil, you have to work hard, you have to embrace perseverance like that bitter medicine pills, you have to sweat, you have to endure pain, you have to be persistent, you have to have the knack and will to make it, you have to work harder, and it still won't be easy, but it will all be worth.

It's okay to be sad, who hasn't been sad for a while? But remaining sad, is surely a choice and you shouldn't embrace that phase, you shouldn't give into self pity - nobody cares about your feelings bro. Firstly fix yourself, make something out of yourself, then only you can pursue what you wish for. It won't matter then, but, it will be funny because people will listen, take you seriously and care for you then, funny world. And those who had made an issue about you being depressed, will be singing a different tone, they anyhow, always required something to munch upon. Whether you are happy or sad, failure or successful, rich or poor - people will still talk about you. You would understand that there's no point losing your mind over others' opinions and talks, because by then, you would realize which they would never. While they will tell you that things are impossible and couldn't be done, remember and know that, it is impossible and couldn't be done by them, and not you. Please do realize that, and that surely will be a gift. 


6 comments :

  1. Thank you for being open about it..well thought piece :)

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    1. This article was pending, especially for you. :)

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  2. Gratitude! You made me realize I am Special and that is why i keep traveling without getting tired :)

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    1. :)
      Yes dear, you are. Or else, why would you be so energetic and making memories for yourself.
      And please do continue the things, that you are passionate about.

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  3. Thought provoking piece, would look forward for such piece in times to come.. Sir,u made me realise that I can overcome phase Iam going through

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    1. Dear Alex,
      Thank you for going through my blog. I am very honoured and glad that I made you realise something. It is just a phase, you see. Like Charlie Chaplin once said: Nothing lasts forever, not even your sad days. So, face it bravely and whole heartedly, face it honestly and good things are just around the corner. If you need any help, please do email me at damang2006sa@gmail.com

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