Monday, December 26, 2016

To Understand Love.

I asked her, "don't you get mad upon him when he works late hours?"
She said, "no, I don't. I just have to watch when he eats, because he doesn't eat on time".

What is it to be in love, that everybody craves for it like a drunkard craves for an ale, the bees for pollens, a junkie for a syringe full of opium, an addict for caffeine or nicotine?

 I once read few things about laws of attraction, that while few mistook lust and attachment for love, it was pretty hard to understand which was what?

It all started with evolution, how women and men selected their spouses. We might say we have been educated or that we are civilized, but how our innate ideas function, we still are somewhat stuck up 3000 years late in our heads. Women then craved for men who were physically stronger, and men went for what he goes till date, a pretty face!

Women wanted stronger men then because he would provide them with protection from environment and animals. Not much has changed though, that women now crave for someone who is stable in some way, perhaps that is where the talent and skills of a man comes into role. And of course, we all have our own parameters, what is beautiful to one is ugly to others.

With said that, let's dissect modern day love. Most often people crave for people who will be beneficial to them, whom their parents will accept and who will keep them happy. Is it selfish or self indulgent? I don't know, I really don't know when we cross that thin line.

After almost three decades of knowing people, love seems so rare. These days, I feel people don't fall in love, they fall for the notion or the ideas about being in love, the very stuff which Nicolas Sparks sold to us with Dear John characters, or Sharukh Khan spreading arms wide open aghast the paddy fields! Love, however has more.

To me, love is more than what I can express with mere words. Love is something that heals everything, your past and your stresses. In fact, I at times feel that I sort of feel invincible when I know that I am being loved, despite the fact that there are so many flaws in me. And isn't that thing love? The healing power that makes you understand that everything is possible, that despite few dents here and there, we can make it through? I could talk and write on so many things upon irrelevant stuff, at times be gibberish all over, think about all sorts of thoughts, so many things in my head, and actually go blank when I am with her. There's this emptiness for me, and it's just that feeling, that feeling about not worrying about anything, not bothering about anything - peace of mind. Maybe, that's what happiness is for me, to not think at all because in my thoughts I am always petrified.

Most often, people just think about themselves, they think the right way they should be treated and they have so many parameters about "I am not like this" or "I cannot accept this" and blah blah. How can you actually understand love when you haven't understood the feeling of giving, the act of understanding that the world doesn't revolve around you? Love is a two way terminal, you can't expect things to happen in your way, you can't make someone live a life that is not something that he or she desires to live.

I really have come across many people, the paupers and rich men, and in all, I saw the similarity, the thirst for true love. I still don't get it why spouses cheat on each other, for falling in love isn't writing an essay on a mere binding of few pages, it is like writing a freaking encyclopedia, with same hand, nib and ink! And it won't be easy, but what has ever been beautiful, if it came easily?

2016 was the year, that I fell in love, might not be the first time, but it is very different than what I felt since ages, for when someone actually loves you, there's something beautiful in her anger, temperament and anguish. That some people only scold you for your own good and they would never belittle you, for that is love. We don't leave a person for their defects when we are in love, we just see the true potential of a soul, what he or she might become but haven't because we are the other half that they have been missing all along or they are to us, or how happy we are, just to be around them. And if someone loves you albeit you are fat, what more do you want?

And in midst of everything, we stop caring about the world and wrap ourselves with the clouds of indifference towards the world, and just be in love. All those theories about stability and pretty faces, it all fades away, for your soul knows it, for your soul craves for more: love.  


  1. So beautifully written. I told you a day will come when you will get all these. The day has come. We are so happy that you lived to see this beautiful day ha ha ha.
    I still have questions to ask on this very subject. I will keep for another day... when we meet in person.

  2. Love is indeed difficult to grasp by words, can only be felt with so many things inside the head. Wish you a longlasting love Dawa!!! :)

  3. So happy to know that you fell in love, this particular year 2016. It is just magical to be in love. Lucky are those who get to spend their entire life with the persons they love. A happy love life ahead Dawa!

  4. Someone is talking of love in a sweet tone. Mo ga mo? Jarim yey ga? Na khi shosh. lol Keep loving dude. This one organ called heart starts beating since we are two weeks old in the womb and continues to beat as long as it wants - non-stop, and yet can have the dual function of feeling special with someone is something very, very special. That's why, the love should be genuine and the feeling respected. Can we cheat this special organ which keeps us kicking all these years?