Sunday, October 23, 2016

Infinity

This is not in regard to mathematical annotations, nor about any of the sciences. It's in regard to standing behind the window again :p

Lately I been thinking a lot, and I don't know whether that's for good or not. :) Anyway, I have been thinking. I look outside, while the moon shines bright, and it reflects upon the hills and ridges, leaves and trees, while the streets are empty and dogs are howling and barking, why can't they ever get along?


I then think, what if, these particular land masses disappeared, or what if we could see them like we could in our 3D modelling softwares, with wire meshes or while the component is just made transparent. Will moon shy away like it always does? Being around mountains all our lives, we do feel suffocated at times, and when we reach the Indian plains, absence of mountains does give us a feeling, a slight nausea - as if the voices aren't echoing anymore.

We ought not to be affected with external forces, but we can't help it. Perhaps, the answer lies in cosmos, the way it behaves. How do you expect not to get affected by society and its issues, while the whole of universe is interdependent to each other, while galaxies and nebulae function upon forces with their surrounding masses? It is quite intriguing and interesting, yet we all expect our lives to be ours, while there are so many parameters and beyond, that actually makes us who we are. Even if two people were brought up the same way, keeping all conditions constant, making them read the same tabloids, anecdotes and books, I guess they will definitely ought to have different perspectives, for both will meet with different people and experience the same. If only, everything was constant, they would be like minds. And like minds, albeit there will be so many similarities amongst two individuals, there will be something whereby they won't collide, perhaps how they would concede to their notions.

And while I get myself drenched with too many thoughts, while I bifurcate every emotions and study them in my head, why being loved is so beautiful and hatred indigestible, I take a long breath, and wonder and expect, the lights to turn off, for I will see the constellations above, and in infinity, I find my solace. Perhaps, that's the beauty in thoughts, it never ends, and it is for that reason, why one is always curious and remains interesting and interested. For, if we had answers to everything, the charm of being able to think, or the quest to search for answers wouldn't be exciting.

Then I wonder and think about the great minds of the past and great minds of present, and I wonder about their zealously thoughts, what made them do the unexpected, and how would they do those stuff, which seemed impossible at one point of era? Then I hear a voice within me, a voice, that I can't control of. Am I insane? I don't think so. I sometimes, wonder, the part that wants me to paint, and wonder more about this particular part of me, why is the painter so neutral? Then I wonder about the addiction towards writing, why do I have this obsession to write? Why is it so suffocating if I don't write? And why do I love my profession so much? I then wonder upon so many things around the globe. Like why aren't Americans standing up now? Why is it that they are making mockery of themselves? Seriously, out of millions of their citizens and billions in the world, we land up seeing Hilary and Trump? Seriously, what's wrong with the world?

Then I loiter around the thoughts about different nations, why we have international boundaries, why we are labeled as a citizen of this nation or that? What's there so much to take pride in, absence of this pride doesn't mean I am not a patriot. Then I loiter around thinking, why haven't we, the humans learnt to be good to each other, why not embrace peace? Why are few of us so greedy and self conceited, blinded by ignorance in our heads that we tend to mess up the whole world? Why be so selfish? But then again, who am I? That is something that struck me, and I realize, I am nobody, pondering upon these thoughts are just waste of time, perhaps, someday when I will be able to, then I shall try to bring change - just someday. Right now, nobody would take my words and notions seriously, for everybody is blinded and everybody is correct upon the stance they have. Why be so religious and ask for forgiveness from the ultimate beings, the ones who existed because we chose to believe in stories. And aren't we always fond of stories? Everything around us, are nothing but mere stories, I feel. We are loved or hated for the stories that we live, tell, share and believe in. Why be mean to each other over stories that we believe in and that we don't believe in. Belief in itself is an infinite phenomena, the propagandas that we support and don't support, how greedy are we to actually make someone think the way we want them to, how fearful and afraid we are amongst ourselves, how hollow we are within ourselves, that we mooch upon the thoughts and ideas over our own existence - making it dependable to the intuitions the other should have. When did we authorize ourselves to police around and actually got dedicated to make others think the way we want them to, when did we bestow this responsibility upon ourselves? But then again, I realize, we all come with our own packages of secrets and thoughts, and we try very hard to vouch for all these. And how can we be an individual, a sole certain entity, while there's so many persons in ourselves, so many personalities that we live and have within, how can we even think of someone to be belonging to one virtue, while we haven't accepted our own. Nice or mean, good or bad, we all are everything, it's just matter of circumstances and consequences, being in pinnacle of all the virtues, courage to actually behave the way we do - both high and low, good or bad, weak or strong. Do we even know what we are to feel in our joyous or melancholic days? Can we even quantify those feelings and emotions that we munch upon, can we not mix these emotions at all? Can we just keep these emotions aside like an extra dinner packages in refrigerators? Perhaps, we can, we just haven't figured out how to?

Then I come back again to murky thoughts of moon, how gallantly and brightly it shines. Hide and seek, the moon plays with us, and I wish to see more of it, perhaps, when the horizons are not blocked by the mountains, perhaps when am still interested in infinity, perhaps when it still remains intriguing, for as of now, beyond infinity is something that is simply beautiful, non-understandable and impossible, and it would be total act of menace, an act of bigot, if I don't respect infinity! Henceforth, gazing upon the charismatic moon, while it is so bright, reminds me of how we are all interdependent, and not getting affected is just a solace in itself while chosen, for if not chosen, it's just agog agony to oneself, which vicissitudes circumstances one shouldn't be in, how malignant it would be then. Someday perhaps, who knows, we will be charmed more, baffled more, and further there, lies an understanding towards infinity, and beyond. The voices in me shuts down, I just find myself staring outside and I have stood here for too long, perhaps, the crazy laws of nature to get moving is the key and there lies the answers, and I wish not to know them, for I still choose to remain curious, and be intrigued by inquisitive nature. The dogs still continue to howl and bark, and they never seem to get along. We humans aren't any better, are we?




2 comments :

  1. Sir,this is a very beautiful piece of writing.Im impressed by the way you expressed your thoughts and I really enjoyed reading your article.I would love to read more fro m you😊

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