Monday, September 5, 2016

Murky Thoughts.

There comes a time, when all of us, are engulfed with doubts, like viruses consuming our sanctity of peace, we try to obliterate so many things and in all, the repercussions of our own thoughts lead to questioning ourself.

The median age of Bhutan is 25.5 as per NSB, which means we are a very young country. The thing is, employment causing a gruesome problem, our perspective towards any jobs have changed. We don't much like to apply for jobs, because we tend to think that pre-selected candidates are there. Albeit, many when unemployed don't research and develop oneself, it is bound to happen that our general lot becomes more confused. It's mid night, and you open your window, only to see dogs barking or kids fighting.


I used to live above a party hall once, I would light a cigarette and watch over people when they left. Once I saw, a man in his 30s, crying. He yelled, his mother will be angry and he will be scolded. Firstly, I thought, if you are 30 and still staying with parents, don't drink? And even if you drink, make sure that your parents won't know? And crying is the last thing. I don't know what problems he had, and in my late twenties, I am seeing things differently now.

A nation to be developed, requires people who has self discipline, people who can actually say 'no' to certain things. But, we being young nation, we are more engaged in complaints and self pity! Yes, we crave for others to understand us, others to be helpful, etc., but nobody would take that pain to actually realize certain things and work towards it. We blame government too much, we expect too much from government. What next do you expect? You make a child and you can't pay the bills? You expect government to even buy and change diapers for you?

I have always been called negative on social media, now the term has been slightly diplomatic. I am now called a satire guy. First of all, I am not at all negative person. I see positive things and I imagine differently, that's what I would like to call. I do things and I either get too involved or not at all. I have this craving to finish off certain things perfectly. So, you will either see my room arranged well, or you will see it not arranged. Not something in between. And when I see any work that isn't done well, I just am not glad. Like, the point when one of our Ministers declared that there won't be subsidized rates for fuel, and he walked streets the next day to check for inflation? How dumb is that? One is a Minister, and one has to actually be calculative, show general public with figures of saying so and so rates would be there, and so and so percentage should be charged on commodities?

But people have always tried to put down each other, like what one believes isn't taken seriously by other, and henceforth. But let me tell you something, people leave, people die, people say stuff when they can't do it themselves. They are cynical about things you do. Like do a charity, and you will be bombarded with why are you trying to be a hero? You don't get time and get engaged in work, and you will be accused to have double standards for not mingling. You become Devdas, and you are blamed to be weak. I think, we all take things differently, our perspectives on same cup of coffee will be different, and that difference, we barely respect in an individual. Buddha became affected by three minor things: old age, sickness and death. These are the something we all are acquainted with, and we being depressed as Buddha, we can't imagine to be depressed with these very little things, because we already know so many people who have died, become old or are ill.

When relationships fail, when dreams don't come true, when money is short, when you can't afford a decent meal, when things don't show up as you wished for, we have this tendency to blame ourselves. The mean things we are told, we tend to believe. Here's the thing, people when they don't want you in their lives, despite whether you love them, they will tell things that they think. Doesn't mean it is all true. There should never be a state whereby one should question oneself. Just don't let those reasons hold you back, because you are amazing in every other way. There is nobody like you on the planet, and nobody should take that away from you: 'your-ness'. Even drunkards get married or have spouses who support them all the time, even criminals have loyal wives who visit them, even a con man has a family which supports them: so, see, people just leave by telling you stuff when they don't want you. It's not your fault at all. The right ones will never give up upon you, they won't judge you for silly reasons like: You are Tamang? Or you are dark toned fella. Or you are too much into social cause? Or you are too much into work? Or you are trying too much?

I think in my late twenties, I have come to realize many things and have become more wiser I guess. And I have discovered myself after completely destroying myself. And next, whatsoever comes, I am here to brace it with my arms open. Not being scared or doubting myself, because I surely can do things which many can't, and they have got no rights to tell me that I can't, just because they can't. This is not an act of narcissism, but what the heck. I am not here to explain anything. :P These were my thoughts, and I wanted to write it :) Doing whatever I can, that makes me happy. 

2 comments :

  1. want to know more on those surely things which you can but many can't do :P :P

    ReplyDelete