Friday, June 3, 2016

Me, My friends and Club Single-hood.

Me, My friends and Club Single-hood. 

There was a time, when like and love didn't have much difference and if someone told you that you are being liked, it meant you are being loved. But with time, we grew into adults and the more we matured, the more confrontations we resumed towards convincing ourselves. We all miss high school days for this very fact I presume. 

We all have those relatives who throw us puns about being single and god, we hate that Shakuntala Aunty right? Who, keeps on reminding us that it is high time to date or to get married, don't we? We all have our own Shakuntala Aunts, whose noses are slightly bigger than it should have been, poking their noses over our love affairs. 

Today, I am surrounded by more single friends than I used to be. All stories are different, yet all are same. We all are confused over what exactly we want in life? Some of us have resorted to what we want in life and some of us still haven't. 

So, this goes out to all the single people out there. The traits are normal, everybody is now scared to fall in love or being liked or whatever it is. Why? Past bitter experiences or empathizing over others' failed relationships. Then there's this pressure over 'you-are-this-many-years-old' and you have walked the face of earth for too long to be dwelling as single chap or where are the babies your grandparents long to see? 

Being honest, it does pinch at times and we do tend to give into those thoughts over and wonder what's wrong? Albeit we hope that someday things would change. I am today surrounded by guys and girls who are simply scared to be in a relationship because the previous one hurt them so much, that they don't want to see anyone, anymore. And in all these, how is one to hope for any sort of relationship? 

It is true that our previous generation of folks, had tough times while they were raised, but emotional and mental illnesses were lower then. Today, I see everybody is one way or the other messed up. Why did we complicate our lives? I am not writing a technical paper and I won't say that these precise reasons led people to behave like the ways they are behaving but there is some common pattern to all. 

The current generation being more workaholic, and more passionate than the previous ones, do have tough time in finding or falling in love. And there's a lot of people who don't want one night stands because they don't like to have flings, maybe we all are raised that ways. We fell more for the idea of ideal relationships than actually mending our own and having one, and look where it has got us?  Those bollywood, Korean melodramas and Nicolas Sparks novels which too are made into movies. Most of my friends are there today, they have good jobs, earns better compared to previous generations and are doing very well in their jobs, but they just can't handle relationship. They can't seem to get into relationships because they can't trust anymore and since when did flirting around become swag of our generation, that searching someone loyal is next to finding unicorn? 

Many relationships have failed because people didn't want to settle down, they got cheated on or their parents didn't approve their relationships. It is weird how everybody has been affected and many have searched or quested their solaces at the abyss of whiskey bottles. 

I look around, I find myself being trolled by my brother time and again with 'forever alone' jokes, and with time, I have grown thicker skin. I have realized now, that relationships of any sort, shouldn't be taken as a settlement or compromise, just because time had come or what would people say or after getting pressurized with the social dogmatic stigma or relatives or parents. I now have realized that if given a chance, I would have never let myself being so affected by this, because with maturity comes a sense of self discipline and what was once abstruse becomes more clearer. I would rather remain single and die alone rather than settle in and damage myself with the wrong person, nobody should withhold your growth. I would rather wait for the right one than merely compromise because I have to, this all comes through self respect and prioritizing what one wants in life. And most of my friends, like me, I find they too have come to this realization. I find many of my friends working harder and changing their lives, becoming better people and maturing up. While those quirky naive relationships lasted and got over, someday we would look back and realize how filmy and quirky were we once, we will miss those days and surely laugh over. 

 I won't sugar coat the fact that being single is awesome and it is great and give you a notion of double standards, I will be blunt honest to you. It does suck to be single while most of our friends have kids and we attend birthdays, baby showers and marriages. But we are here, by choice or by circumstances, and we have learned to make it independently, and when we will have relationships someday, we won't have the nagging issue or we won't be dramatic at all I guess. Again, like aforementioned, despite the fact that we eat cold food for dinner and skip breakfast meals, we have grown up to take care of ourselves and nurtured ourselves as better humans: not clinging upon others and depending upon others, we have actually sorted our own shits. 

To all those single people out there, love doesn't suck - your past lovers did - DIFFERENCE! 

1 comment :

  1. Your article has taken me back to my school days. Those were the days I dated my girl friend more with letters than in person, Haha... Sometime I feel my post man was more with her than myself but still deep in me I was satisfied.But now I think as you mentioned I have less time for love or may be forgot the meaning of what love is. Anyway, nicely written.