Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Last Problem for this Generation as Youths : Marriage.

Now I write this as the last problem for my generation as "YOUTH", because a year or two from now, none of you will be youths anymore, you be branded adults and even though you won't mature enough, everything that you do or don't do will be taken into serious account: with reasons required for your actions.

Today, I write on a very sensitive topic, and who but me should write it, I love to talk about elephants in the living rooms. Marriage!




Source: Google Images. 
Source Google Image: The same Turkish Nomad Clan. 

Source Google Images: I will not talk about cousins getting married, I haven't encountered that so far.






My Generation: The Transitional Generation.

First of all, it is very hard for this bunch of people to fall in love, because as education has been given to every Tom, Dick and Harry, everybody is literate these days and not many educated, I presume, my presumption and my orthodox prejudiced ideas here, you don't like it, don't read it lol. Anyways, since majority of this group is Educated and has gone to colleges, knowing or unknowingly they have chosen Homogamy: in social science I believe this term refers to people getting married who have same tastes, educational background, religion etc. And there are those who follow opposite to that, which I don't know, that too knowingly or unknowingly. Love plays a big factor. But as long as one gets to get married without any dichotomy and hindrances from their biological parents, all is well, even be it endogamy or exogamy.

But there comes another group, the miserable ones with utmost frustration. The ones who are still waiting for their boarding passes to take this marriage flight.


1. One of my friends is having a problem with difference in religion. Here endogamy is required from the parents' side, but these young people are so deeply in love that they don't pay any heed to what they are told. Wonderful isn't it? Perhaps, these are the ones who did spoil their parents' tea time and social gatherings talks, not to forget talks in funerals and did bestow backbites and criticisms from their relatives. Bravo I say, because towards the end of the day, it is who you love and who loves you. There goes religion butting in and lovers overcoming that.

2. Race and Caste case.
I would rather put this case to be something like, tribal, because this nature of problem is tribal I presume. Because no modern man would agree to endogamy. Sorry for those who still share this tribal opinion. You want to know how tribal you are? Well Alexandra the Great while he was in Babylon, nearing to death once told (from the Movie I picked up this line), someday people will mix and we will have better race. Not exactly what he must have muttered, but if Alexandra the Great can share that vision in BC, why can't you BC? What is BC? Learn some Hindi I say :).

So, there are various cases in this particular case:

i. One of my friends was born in Northern region of the Nation and his father was somebody very big in Police. When he was about to get married to the girl of southern foothills, he was told this by his dad: Son I don't have much time to live. Son, I know you will get married to the girl I wish you to be married with. But what would be the point if you don't be happy? Towards the end of the day, your happiness matters. I don't care whom you get married to, as long as you know you can be happy. That was some beautiful lines a man gave, but not many parents will give that line, reason being their own prejudices. We can't change a man, and the venom he has infested in his nerves can't be rinsed over night. It will take time. Man is entitled to opinions, be it wrong ones. Problem just starts when they live their visions, and even harder problems arise while they make others live their visions, especially when one doesn't share their hallucinations.

ii. This case is different because in this one, there is no problem with the tribe, the boy and the girl happens to be of the same tribe, but the problem happens over family status. Now when did money become so important than happiness and love? But this case too, the girl and the boy both are adamant over the decisions and love again prevails, but I am not sure what will happen when they get married? Perhaps in long run they will be happy and their parents as well will be encircled in the same happiness ring. I wish them luck.

iii. This case is weird. In this case, the tribal love is so blind, that the social status and money actually doesn't matter. They just want the same bloodline or mates from their own tribe. I seriously never get why so many problems in this? Because firstly, like Mr. Alexandra thought, it will give better off-springs if they are concerned. Is there the Holy Grail of Da Vinci Code that they have to preserve? This is endogamy, and I really don't know how to comment on it.

All three cases are different, with one being positive and two still waiting for boarding passes. This is the last problem of my generation, because after this, like said before, they will be in manufacturing business and only time will tell whether the parents' intuitions go right or wrong.

Yes, our parents had faced many problems, their generations had to walk for hours to reach places or schools, they walked barefoot and probably most of them lived below poverty. We should never forget the struggle they had, but our generation is different as well. We didn't face any physical hardship. The only time we might have: carrying vegetable bags in vegetable market, that too from the market to the parked vehicles. But, our generation was stressing too. The sources were senseless which resulted out of over pampering, but yes, we did feel the same stress. Be it whining over pikachu or being raised in poverty or parents' getting divorced or not being cool in school, we all have had our own shares of problems.

I know going against parents is a taboo in our society whereby polygamy was so popular once. But still then, anybody who does so would have guilt but time will mend hearts and someday, everything will be fine. The circle of your happiness will encircle your unhappy parents. Congratulations for all those brave men and women, who actually didn't care what society thought of and actually fell in love, endured the hardships and yet continued to a future.

With this topic thought and wrote, I got raged over issues around. But then again, while I was about to reach my home, I saw a driver and his two daughters washing the departmental vehicle. His two little daughters helping their father, the site was simply touching. They didn't even know how to wash the vehicle but there they were, playing and their father letting them play as well, he didn't care whether they would scratch the vehicle and that would make him get extra scoldings from the concerned officer, yet he let his kids play. And I just wondered, with all those things and things that outsiders like me will never know, that would happen with them, what if these kids grow up and chooses the forbidden boys? Should they abandon the boy or the father? Isn't there a diplomatic outcome?

My message to all those parents who are not happy with their Children's choices:
Our generation is weird one. They are the transitional generation. They were the first ones to play video games, they were the first ones to see internet along with you, they were the first ones to see Television along with you, they were the first generation to watch reality Tv and other stuff, which has disturbed their opinions. They won't think the same as you do, and if you have a child who does, please take him to hospital, something is seriously wrong. It is not that this generation will endure your decisions because they think like you, most of us will for we don't want to break your hearts. But please don't break ours' as well.


My parents come from different places, and yet they managed to stay together till date. I know times were not always good, we too got stirred in their tempest, but I learnt one thing from them: Marriage however is my own business and not theirs, but not many will have my lucky fate. A moment of silence to all those who are struggling, for me as well. Go on, play John Lennon's Give Peace a Chance or Bob Marley's Redemption song.

Ah, to think of those era, Hippies were better, I know the accusations of drugs and free sex were not something civilized men with stone heart would follow, but their principles were damn good. Every body was equal.

All men/women are created equal, and you just need a lens of love to see through.

And I am so sorry for provoking you, if you did get provoked with my opinions. If you did, seriously you need to read more books and get yourself educated.

This is the last problem the youths are facing, and when they overcome, like said before, they will either be in manufacturing department of adults or some bunch of disturbed polygamous monkeys. :)

Let love be there.

Dawa Knight. 

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