Friday, April 26, 2013

The Errors in Logic.

In whole of 2012, I only went to Thimphu for five times. I can claim 15 days of casual leave in a year, but I happened to claim only 3 and half days. Reason? As branded by some of my colleagues, I am sort of a workaholic. I don't know whether this is good or bad, but these days, the situation has slightly gotten out of control, too much of work does make a Jack dull that he forgets to flush his own digested nutrition.

Anyways, today I will write about my experience when I had once taken taxi to Thimphu. Now I am a fat man with broad shoulders so I requested the little monk to sit on the back seat, the monk had to be seated along with two elderly women from Punakha or Bajo itself. I have no idea and these days, accents are just the same for me, I cannot differentiate who is from where? So, we were in the taxi and I have to admit that travelling makes me more imaginative than shower, so I was working out ideas bout global peace and how efficiently I can execute certain items on site. This and that, and it is funny how you can't multiply and divide bigger numbers in your mind. Oops, my mind, I just lose tracks on numbers and carry overs.

It was then that I realized, some of the monasteries never had roads back then, yet they built castles on the toughest ridges of the Himalayas. Isn't that amazing? You just evaluate the materials and the weight, then you evaluate ponies or men who would carry them to site, then you evaluate actually building that terrific breath taking-landmark-iconic-fabulous monument there. How much would that cost today? Well, most would say that be cheaper, and I will take away the modern machines and impossible would be all we will have. But those are the things to ponder, we are barely a million now, and not to forget the migration and immigration of my forefathers, keeping those aside, what might have been the population of this particular valley? Even today, it won't cross a thousand, and yet it stands there, teasing our eyes and mentally overburdening our minds while we think of actually walking up hill till there. And yet it is there.

Was it faith or was it just egoistic boost to have it done and particularly having it done on an Engineers'/Sponsors'/Labours' wildest nightmarish spot!

I am stunned and I climb up hills, Dochula kicks in with its less pressure and high attitude altitude. I smile while I cross, I say to myself, I passed you during the thickest snowfall of the year and I was fully wet while I did that. The cold had bitten my bones but I escaped from its grip, I made it and today it's sunny, I just love the feeling. But if you notice the peaks from Dochula, there are about four or five or three peaks downwards. One peak when it ends, you will have Chimmi Lhakhang across its river. And if you see the straight distance from Bajo to Thimphu, it is barely 27.5 km, got it checked from Google earth.

Well, then roads get better and few more thoughts about saving the rain forest and actually imagining to have lived there for ages, you see Semthokha Dzong, and then, there again it makes me go into thoughts. It just would look irrelevant today for us to see why Thimphu has two Dzongs? But then again, leaving the political reason behind and being ignorant from the actual reason why these two Dzongs were built in Thimphu, I come up with my own conclusion. It must have been a real pain to built those Dzongs, and without using a nail? That surly must have consumed enough of time and people endured that time, a gift from the past.

It is about then, when my topic for this article hits its meaning. We see a retarded man, and the women munching on her doma goes like: Aiieeee..

I am taken back with that sympathy, the empathy she must have felt was enormous I guess. Then she starts to fuck with my thinking the moment she states: Aieee.. Tshey hema gi ley. Awwww.... the sins of previous life.

And I am like, who even created heaven and hell? Who even kept accounts on our sins and who even makes us pay back those? Why is it the sins of past be the logic while our logic hits the wall? Can't we just admit that we are ignorant on this matter and just say Aiee and leave it there? Orgasm must be good, but don't over do it, you might get yourself hurt in a very weird way in a weird place. Perhaps, a genetic misfire and mutation or perhaps some immunity problem might have made him retarded. Perhaps, who knows he is the normal one and we all are abnormal, catching up daily on jobs and wondering how much I should earn and save and how much to eat and not to eat and shit and how much to love and how much to hold back and how much not to trust people and how to act in society so that we can fit in? Perhaps we the abnormal ones formed a very big herd of nitwits and we started branding. And heaven and hell, miseries or benefits are not Karma, and I bet you will think about Karma while you are too up or too low. Where does the logic of blaming to Karmic acts go while you are simply sitting on the chair and warming it? Was it Karmic deeds that you are reading this article? Am I fucking with my Karmic energies right now that Karma will spank me hard that balls come out of my mouth? Sorry to write in a very offensive language, I just can't help being around with orthodox people. Who the heck are we to even say, that this poor man has his life his way now because he is accounted to the sins of past life? Who the heck are we? All my imaginations go away, global peace I think? And I can't even change this woman's attitude for the venom circulating in her veins will take time to be purified. And who the heck am I to write all these as if I am a perfect sole here? Then there starts a battle in my mind, what the heck are we all for here? Veil of ignorance: you should read that some day. And I go back to my abyss of confusion pit, whereby there are no answers and there are no particular ways to get out from. And then I say: Ama, nem chi dhi mem hong sa, roh ga gi lap shey, kho ney bey dey mi di, kho gi nga chey ley mam khen dho hong. Aunty, it might not be this worse, who knows, he is this way because he is more enlightened than you and I are. They all give me smirks, I take them as a football player who never gets the ball and kicks it when he does, and in this situation, kicks it out of the line. Because I hadn't spoken a word while they were busy blaming Punatshangchu Project Vehicles for messing up with the road from Thimphu to Wangdue. Let me tell you, every pavement is designed for particular weight, and somebody must have designed it for low traffic, they never thought of having Trailers of this magnitude one day drive through this road. And didn't you ever notice? The road had actually less thickness of bitumen poured, inferior quality of mixture and the list goes on.

I later seek help from a very kind friend of mine who happens to read many manuscripts of Buddhism with all those questions, I get an answer that pierces my heart so bad that I nearly flinch from my natural thinking mode, the answer comes easy: Your mug is full my friend, empty it. There makes no logic, there is no logic I think. Then it is at that time, I get the answers, I don't own the problems of the world, perhaps I should stop bothering myself over thoughts and I try to forget all those things, empty my mug. It is a sort of selfish act and a confusing too, but then it does help me to smile and then I hit party with my friends. There I see more sorrowful souls than I am. I see people confused and some of them are even more confused than I am, I see them finding answers on the bottoms of the bottles, be it mango juice to fosters beer, all are confused, all are sad and all are weird. But yet, socializing has become very easy for them, some might have gotten pay checks only sufficient for a week, and don't they even wonder: Is everything really expensive or am I just too poor?

Confused with thoughts and mood to sleep, still sober and 3:00 am, we loiter Thimphu town like jackals, as if we were given tasks to patrol the town, were we superheroes assuring the town a sound sleep? Because I seriously want to be Kick-Ass :p. Then I go to sleep, as if nothing had happened, as if I hadn't seen anybody sad, as if nobody affected anything or anybody around. Like a baby, I plunge myself into darkness, and wake up the following day. I get anxious to come back, I go back to Taxi parking and I search for taxis. Two gelongs and a woman, I ask this gelong to move back as well, what can I do? I am fluffy. Perhaps, it was in his karma to expect and imagine for a while the drive on the front seat, and yet taken away from him on just one snap. Perhaps that is life, not the smartest or the strongest will survive, the ones who can adapt will. A baseless article, with errors in logic, I still continue with my thoughts back to Bajo, temperatures change and vegetation does.  The last peak ends and I see Chimmi Lhakhang, and remember that phallic metal being hit on my head, I give a smirk this time. Weird, with all these entropy, we age a little, we live a little, we point out mistakes a little, we learn a little, we become wiser a little and nobody has any idea, why the heck are we here on the first place? Just mirages around, for those who know how to reason why they are here. Yeah, you wanting to achieve the glories of life while you are alive and you willing to share the glories of heaven afterlife, you getting scared of hell while you kick the bucket should never give you reason to live life on the principles set by somebody invisible. That is no buddism. And I compare you with kids who act nice or nagging about pokemon! Everything we do now will be insignificant, someday we all will fade and I will not give you that selfish motivation idea, while you live, live big. While you live, help each other. And at that point, even cursing on someone over his previous life's sins are acceptable, if you only help him that is. Or else, there is no logic why we are here on the first place. Perhaps, earth wanted plastic?

PS: Don't ask me why I went off the topic, Even I don't know what I wrote above.  

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